How Many Poles Does It Take to Land A Helicopter?

Well, I suppose that's a dumb question until you watch the process in person.  Aneta isn't feeling much better today but she gamely prepares to go watch Witek and his crew of 32 firefighters practice emergency landing procedures with a helicopter.  Now folks, I tend to make light of bureauocracy wherever it occurs and I don't think we, in the good old USA, are immune to the ridiculous machinations of governmental agencies.  But what I saw today was a supreme example of ineptitude, coupled with lack of leadership and a clear plan, resulting in a mega waste of the time of over 60 men and women, 32 of whose sole crime was showing up for work this morning.

Fot: Firefighters at Gliwice small airport, Linda

The men and women from the Fire School arrived at 1:05 Pm at the Gliwice Airfield in a luxury bus, painted bright red, decked out in really cool black uniforms with Straz printed on their jacket backs.  I am told it means "guard" or something similar that is apparently difficult to translate.  The newbies filed off the bus in eager anticipation of diving right in to their emergency landings exercises.  They milled around the parking lot talking to each other.  Witek came over to the car and hugged Aneta and looked in on his sleeping daughter in the back seat of the car.  He introduced Aneta and me to a series of good looking young men and a couple of really attractive young women.  They stood around some more, looking more confused as time passed.  At 1:30 the bus driver opened up the luggage compartment of the bus and someone got out the food.  The trainees gathered around and were rationed out two rolls, some cheese, some ham, an apple and a drink.  They gathered on the far side of the bus and crouched down in a small grassy area to eat their lunch.  Two o'clock arrived and they were still without any obvious signs of a leader.  No one seemed to know what to do or when to do it.  Aneta and I had to leave at 2:15 to pick up our English student from school on the other side of town.  We were disappointed not to see any of the exercises.  At around 2 PM a black SUV rolled into the lot and four big, handsome men jumped out.  They joined the milling firefighters but stood a bit apart from them.  Some of the firefighters approached them, clearly looking for guidance.  None was forthcoming.  At 2:10 PM another car came rolling up and a man got out.  Aneta leaned over and told me this was Witek's boss at his regular place of work and "maybe he is the one to be the leader."  If he was the leader we never found out because all he did was greet the brass from the SUV and join them in conversation by the time we had to leave.  So all in all these men and women stood around for at least and hour and a half before anyone organized them into an exercise.

Aneta still isn't feeling well so I am doing the driving today.  We drove to a high school near Aneta's flat and picked up Marzena, our English student, for her lesson.  We returned to the flat and I started the lesson while Aneta palmed Ania off on our young neighbor Kasia.  We worked on social situations with Marzena today, such as how to ask for a hotel room, find out the price, use a credit card to make a purchase, find the post office, etc.  She did fairly well today and there is obviously improvement.  She asked me what I thought her level of English skill was at this point.  I hope I was encouraging to her while explaining that she has a long way to go.  She is weak in vocabulary although her pronunciation of words has improved considerably - especially the "th" sound that doesn't exist in the Polish language.  She hasn't mastered it but she is close.

We then put Kasia and Marzena in the car and took Marzena home to her small village.  We had to make one stop to purchase donuts for the firefighters and take them to the airport where exercises were well under way - now that it was already dark!  We returned to the airport and distributed the donuts to the first three lucky guys who came to greet us.  Then we ate the rest!  Witek got one, his good friend got one, a couple of EMt's (called EMP's here) got one and one other guy. 

Fot: The helicopter just before landing, Witek

Taking photos was impossible from this distance in the dark so I didn't even bother trying.  We watched the helicopter take off and do a simulated emergency landing twice as we stood in very cold night air with a brisk wind whipping around us.  And the answer to the question posed in the title?  60.  One to fly the helicopter and 59 to stand on the ground with their hands up in the air to catch it if it falls.  Not really - it's a joke.  They do stand around with their hands up in the air but that is only during a daylight landing.  The night landing involves six guys kneeling in the grass in a semi circle holding flashlights to guide the chopper in for a safe landing at the scene of an accident.

Fot: Firefighters in action, Witek

Cold and tired and with Aneta sick we left for home and warmth.  I have a massage scheduled at 7 PM so I drop the others at the flat and take myself to my appointment.  It was wonderful.  An hour and 20 minutes for $13.50.  Such a deal and such a good masseuse.

When I returned home again Aneta met me at the door and said, Casper and Iwona are here and we are waiting for you for dinner.  I hope you are hungry.  All I wanted to do was go to sleep but I had try to be sociable with this lovely couple, whom I had just met at the airport, and eat another one of Aneta's lasagna's  This one was delicious and she was very relieved.  After our unexpected guests left and Ania was in bed and asleep I read to Aneta again.  She set up the ironing board and ironed clothes while I read to her.  Suddenly she said, "I think I put Sprite in the iron."

"Sprite?" I said. "How could you put Sprite in the iron?  It was in a green bottle and it said Sprite on it."

"No," she said, "it is here in a cup.  I put it there to drink but I forgot and I thought it was water and I put it in the iron."

Of course by this time it is clear something is wrong as the smell of burning sugar permeates the room.  The poor girl is so sick she is rummy.  I said, "well you'd better clean it out right now.  Put a cup of water and a tablespoon of white vinegar in the iron and pump it all the way through the steam mechanism."  This she did twice and it cleaned the iron out just fine.  After she scrubbed the dark stain off the bottom of the iron she decided to quit for the night.  I thought that was a splendid idea. 

Aneta has threatened to blackmail me with a picture of my Polish husband if I tell the Sprite story but I will just have to roll with it.
Linda