Memorial Day in Poland

What's so special about Memorial Day in Poland?  Let me tell you.  For one thing this is a huge big deal in this country.  Everyone, and I do mean everyone, goes to visit the graves of their loved ones, their friends, their friends friends, their friends loved ones, people they have heard about or anyone else they happen to stumble across as they wander from cemetray to cemetary leaving candle lanterns and flowers.

When I came to Poland, one of the things I most wanted to do was actually experience the culture of another country.  I have had more than a few surprises but this was by far the biggest surprise.  Let's face it, in the US very few people make a day out of visiting cemetaries on Memorial Day.  Most of us plan a camping trip, a baseball game, watch the Indy 500 on TV in a sports bar, take in a parade sponsored by the local VFW or American Legion and eat hot dogs and hamburgers.  Not so in Poland.  Big family gatherings are obligatory. Visits to the cemetary are obligatory.  Visits to several cemetaries is not out of the question.  So, our day?  All of the above.

Fot: Catholic cemetary in Gliwice, Linda

Aneta, Ania and I went to The Weclawek's for a mid-day dinner.  It was a splendid affair.  Alicja is such a good cook and she makes it look so effortless.

During dinner Witek, Aneta's father, was watching a show on Television about a very old Jewish Cemetary that would be open on this Memorial Day for a few hours.  The program encouraged people to visit on this day and Witek decided we should be among those paying tribute to the Jewish people buried there.  Immediately following dinner we  got in two cars, Aneta driving one and Witek driving the other and headed into Gliwice to find the cemetary.  The amount of traffic was unprecedented in my experience here to date.  People were everywhere walking on the sidewalks, in the streets and crowding the parks and cemetaries that seem to be everywhere.

After driving up and down nearby streets adjacent to the Jewish cemetary we finally found a parking place about 5 blocks walking distance away.  Witek and Alicja had better parking magic and found a spot much closer.  Aneta, who frequently leaves her cell phone at home, made this day no exception.  When we finally located Alicja and Witek in the huge crowd Witek was calling Aneta on his cell, which was ringing away in the apartment at home.  He looked very frustrated but made a suitable recovery and led us through the gate in the high brick wall surrounding the cemetary.  It really was an amazing sight.  All the old graves held people who had died prior to 1939.  Then, of course, there was a huge gap in buriels as the Jewish in this part of Poland were gathered up and sent to the work camps.  Buriels apparently resumed in this cemetary in the 1980's but in drastically reduced numbers, of course.  Gliwice had a very large Jewish population prior to the war and today contains a small but active Jewish community with an active synagogue.  We walked through the entire cemetary, ending at a memorial to Jewish patriots who had fought for the Germans in World War I, erected at the start of the pograms in the 1930's as evidence that these Jewish patriots had given their lives for the Germans.  Of course history has shown, and destiny dictated, that these displays of loyalty were never to be rewarded in kind as the Germans advanced on this country and wrecked the horrors of the holocast within her borders.  I felt honored to be able to visit this cemetary on this Memorial Day and privleged to be with this Polish family who took the time to make rememberance of this group of people.

Fot: Old Jewish Cemetary in Gliwice, Linda

Next we walked next door to a huge Catholic Cemetary that was literally crawling with people placing lighted candle lanterns and flowers on the graves.  I looked hard to find a grave site with nothing on it and could not find a single one.  In this cemetary we were looking for the grave of a parent of one of Witek's friends.  Witek had no idea where the grave was located among the acres and acres of monuments.  He was sure he could find it  but as the sun began to dip lower in the sky it became clear to all of us that it just wasn't going to happen.  Suddenly he is on the cell phone chattering away to someone and when he hangs up he says we need to look for three trees.  My irreverant self took over as I looked around me at a forest of trees as far as the eye could see.  "Three trees," I said, "well that should be easy.  Let's see, there are three trees here, three threes there, three trees behind us..." and we all started to laugh.  Poor Witek knew I was making light of his predicament, when he was trying to be so sober and serious about his reverence for the dead, but he couldn't help cracking a smile about this. 

We wandered a bit more and finally Aneta said, "Three white trees."

"Three white trees?"  I repeated.

"Like that," she said pointing to a white barked birch tree.

"Oh," I said, "Well that changes everything.  Let's see there's a Birch tree here, and there's a group of them over there ..."

"It must be three together," she reminded me.

"I see three over there" I said as I started across the cemetary towards the deeper woods.  "What's the name we are searching for?"

Aneta smiled, Witek looked chagrined and Alycia looked away.

"He can't remember," Aneta finally said.

I burst out laughing to the utter horror of everyone in the cemetary at this advancing hour of the day. "So, we are looking for a grave of someone whose name we don't know, in the dark, by three Birch trees in a forest of Birch trees. This should be a piece of cake!"

Ania selected this moment to tell us she needed to shee and Aneta scooped her up and ran for the woods.  Alycia, Witak and I stood there exchanging meaningful glances as I smirked at the absurdity of the situation.  We couldn't talk to each other so knowing glances were all we had with which to communicate.  When Aneta returned Witek announced that we were leaving.  Never mind that the people related to the person we didn't know and couldn't find were already well under way to the cemetary to show us where the grave was located.  Little did I know, we have miles to go before we sleep.

We are off to visit the grave of Marian Weclawek, Witek's father and Aneta's grandfather, in a different cemetary.  We had visited this very grave just two days previous but everyone gets a visit on Memorial Day - if you know where they are that is.   We drove to the cemetary and made our way by candlelight to Marian's grave site.  Marian was an interesting man whom I met at Aneta's wedding three years ago.  He believed Poland was in imminent danger of a military attack because he had dreams that told him so.  I suspect his worries stemmed from living through the Second World War and became dreams that became his reality as he aged.  May he rest in peace.  The lighted lanterns were left and a moment of silence observed at Marian's gravesite before we returned to the Weclawek's flat for cake and coffee.

Ania slept all the way home and even after Aneta extracted her from the car seat and carried her into the building and put her to bed.  It was a big day for a two-year-old and a 67 year-old.  Sometimes I tease Aneta that having me along is rather like having two, two-year-olds, but she takes it in stride.

Aneta is adding photos to the blogs tonight so be sure to check past posts to see her work.

Linda